I have wondered about the scientific(ness) of capturing and explaining our complex human emotions and reactions and then by extension perhaps suggesting constructive ways of dealing with what we’re feeling and experiencing.
This field intrigued me most after I packed up and moved not only home and city but continents as well, close to two months ago.
Now anyone who has ever made a drastic life move will tell that the cognitive dissonance you experience is non-describable. Nothing is familiar. From domestic brands to the sense of perhaps casually bumping into someone you know while out and about. There’s a sense of anonymity while you quickly realise that you have to get on with it (living).
There are moments of extreme frustration, I am not going to sugar coat that. And no, it’s not as romantic and devil-may-care as books and movies make it out to be.
But you learn and you adapt and you grow…
A great source of reassurance has been a website that has become part of my coping mechanism www.emotid.com (don’t be alarmed by its Italian appearances there is an English translate button on the top right-hand side of the screen.
Emotid has the backing of a team of psychologists who have delved into the study of emotions. It is so refreshing to get daily Emotips on books, songs, quotes etc. that describe how you’re feeling at that moment or that serve to uplift you if you’re not feeling particularly inspired.
The support that the Emotid website offers and the sense of knowing that the tips and site resources are from experts in a host of professional fields has made my physical and emotional journey so much easier to cope with.
I suggest you try the site, let’s see how you’re feeling today :-)
I am deeply shocked and shaken to discover that someone who didn’t know the beauty that was #Stephen George Montague Smith decided it was time for him to leave us.
The heaven’s gained a peaceful, relaxed guy, always willing to help and always a kind word in my dealings with him.
He was cruelly ripped away from the rest of us for reasons only God can explain.
May Your Sweet Soul Rest in Peace
This is my lil public service announcement (I know right….lol) but anyway. This from a generally reckless and greedy driver I urge you all to please listen and help me never experience such a tragedy in my life again (me me me me me me….I know, I’m sorry).
I had the misfortune of driving past an accident on Saturday afternoon. I approached a robot (near Kyalami) & I was alarmed by how quiet it was. A deafening silence and that’s when the slow though process of shock hits you. Where everything is amplified and your experiences are heightened. I saw a white Citi Golf, upside down and mangled. But there were no EMS cars or ambulances or police. It had literally just happened. There were a few bystanders so I pulled over and got out my car, calling the “ever efficient” 1011. Naturally there were other numbers to call but EVERYTHING I learnt in that First Aid course went out the window. As I crossed the road, I saw what I thought was an aggresive man breaking the window to car. Alas it was the petrified boyfriend to the driver of the vehicle that drove into Nyiko Karabo Mnisi (who was riding on his motorbike). He quickly pulled her out and they walked to the pavement where he lay her down and made a couple of calls.In the meantime, there was another (real) hero who was standing near Nyiko - a little further up from the car. I asked if he knew who this guy was; he didn’t but had called one of his mates who was a paramedic. On the side of road - spectators galore - I spotted some other guy who looked ghostly. He was a friend of the Nyiko (unfortunately I didn’t get his name) and this poor chap who was about to be sick told me his buddies name.
I walked back to Nyiko who was lying motionless. Helmet in tact, jeans half down his bottom, one shoe missing…with pieces of his flesh trailing across the road. I knelt next to him - didn’t move him and spoke to him. I told him who I was, that help was on the way and that I needed him to stay with me. I tried to assure him that he’d be ok and not to move and that I couldn’t move him (not to risk breaking any further injury).
With all the bystanders ooh-ing and aah-ing I needed them to back up. I stayed with him and spoke asked him to acknowledge me by blinking. On the third request, he tried twitching his right eye and I could just make it out. Sigh of relief. I got up and spoke to his buddy again asking him if he had any contact details of his friends and family. Unfortunately he didn’t but he knew where Nyiko’s girlfriend lives.
I moved back to Nyiko who had started making weird and clearly uncontrollable sounds. It was a gurgling noise. Then almost a gasp for air. I spoke to him again and asked to stay with me. Again - they gurgle. This time more rapid. And then the gasp. I think we looked each other in the eyes. And then that silence again. His eyes started shutting and just as his eyelids were ajar….I knew that he was gone.
I watched and heard a man die.
I looked up to find that guy….the paramedic’s friend and saw the two of them walking up. There we were. Nyiko and I. Two people who knew nothing of each other. And our paths crossed in death.
The paramedic came along, put his hands in Nyiko’s jacket’s pockets to try to lift him to one side. Felt for a pulse. Couldn’t find one. They turned him over and I heard him say “I don’t think he made it”. That’s when the EMS and ambulances arrived. The first car went to the driver of the car and the paramedic guy went to their car for the defribulating machine. Brought to Nyiko’s body and just as he tried to hook the machine up another EMS car arrived and they both assessed the scene and tried to help.
That’s when the one paramedic who was attending to the driver walked halfway to us and gestured asking how the other guy was doing. They signalled back that it was over for him and I walked back across the road. Got into my car (which had sort of created traffic at this point). And I drove off.
I would hate for anything like this to happen to any of you or those you love. PLEASE be careful out there. Buckle up, adhere to speed limits, be vigilant of your surroundings and be fair. Life is too short - don’t allow someone else to dictate just how short it should be.
It starts with me.
A few hours ago the social networks were ablaze with news of the untimely, yet oddly widely predicted and anticipated death of Amy Winehouse..
First we said R.I.P.
Then the inevitable ‘She should have gone to REHAB’ joke
And the comment that stood out for me: ‘I don’t care to hear or read about the Amy Winehouse tragedy’ (note to author, NOBODY cares about the comedic misfortune that is your ‘life’ either, darling…
What a self-righteous lot we’ve become.
We decide who lives and who dies, right?
Amy did drugs, that makes her a bad person, the type who doesn’t deserve our sympathy and acknowledgment.
She should have tried harder to be perfect like the rest of us, right?
God gave her a gift, a talent many would kill for but she chose to pander to her addictions rather than please and entertain us.
She deserved to die… Right?
Drugs Kill, Right?
She had this coming, Right?
Back to Black was her last album, she should have worked harder to give us more… Right?
She should have put more effort into her appearance, right?
She should have showed up, showered, refreshed and prepared for all her concerts and appearances at all times, right?
If she had just bothered to learn the words of her fuckin’ songs she wouldn’t have been boo’d off stage in Berlin last month, right?
We all knew that SHE, was more likely to die than any of us, she had it coming, right?
MY, WHAT A SELF-RIGHTEOUS BUNCH WE’VE BECOME!
Let’s collectively judge Amy, her tragic existence justifies our own non-living!
Amy’s sin was being weak and human.
It’s cool that we’re all the opposite because that means we can cast judgment on others.
Pity that celebrity makes people less than human and our non-celebrity allows us to chastise and even decide who deserves to live or die.
Yes - all of them DO live in that tiny house,
Yes - this township does SMELL like shit,
Yes - that is ALL they’ll eat today,
Yes - those are their ONLY clothes,
Yes - THAT building is the school,
Yes - they’ve NEVER had real toys,
Yes - NOBODY in the house has a job
Yes - I CAN BELIEVE PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS
How observant of you!
I was recording much of the fervour and excitment surrounding the commercial call to action on Mandela Day….
I get it - a major South African bank and an Insurance house implore the citizens of South Africa to do something for the greater good….
Mandela sacrificed 67 years of his life, surely it won’t kill us to sacrifice 67 minutes of our time to make a difference - will it?
Firstly I’d like to know if Mandela ever stopped giving, sharing and caring? In which case focusing on just 67 years is a pretty senseless activity (wouldn’t you agree)…
Secondly, would our combined resources and efforts not be put to better use if we channelled our concerns and commitment into ‘the greater good’ daily or monthly?
I felt out of the loop and panic-stricken because I hadn’t committed to a cause and I couldn’t account for how I would spend 67 minutes for Mandela, but then common-sense prevailed - I am mindful of my environment and without connercial pressure or peer influence I do give of my time, skill and resorces where need arises.
Charity has never been fashionable in my books.
But don’t mind me, go ahead and pat yourselves on the back, before the paint has dried and the meals digested by those smiley little poor faces - we’ll all be rallying around another fun, charitable photo op